Given the headlines that I’ve been reading over the last couple of years, I’ve had lots of opportunities to wonder about how difficult it must be for all the military wives that are here, at home, wondering how their husbands are doing overseas. Of course, there are many men with wives overseas who are in the same predicament, but it’s mostly because I have a friend that is married to an Army Lieutenant and she has a hard time when he’s gone that I’ve been thinking about military wives. I don’t think that they met on a military dating site, but I do know that my friend often recommends that her girlfriends check them out.

I don’t know why she would want to suggest to anyone that they should lead the kind of life she’s living. Suggesting to her friends that they start seeing military men when she’s having so much trouble seems a bit funny, but I know that she loves her husband a great deal and wishes that her friends could feel the same thing she does. I guess that I see her more in the hard times than when times are good. When things are bad, of course, they’re very, very bad. It’s hard to be away from someone at the best of times, but when you know that their life is in danger, this is incredibly hard for all military wives.

They have a good deal of communication with each other. He calls at least 3 times a week. No matter how long he has to wait in line he calls her, even if it means he only gets a couple hours of sleep because he waited so long in line. I don’t know how many times she has cut conversations with me short because she’s thinking he’s about to call, but I don’t mind. I know how important it is to her.

When he’s home, or on leave, their time together is made just that much more sweet by the absence. They spend all their waking hours together and, honestly, I’ve never seen two people so in love. Luckily, she spares me the details of their romantic escapades, but she still doesn’t talk about much else for quite a while after he has gone back.

I’m not sure that I could live that kind of life, but I’m sure glad that there are people that do. I’m proud of her for being so very much in love and I’m proud of him for doing a job that very few people in this world have the ability to do. I hope that he comes home safely every time and I know that when he does, she will always be there to meet him with open arms and a loving embrace.

Here’s to the men that defend our freedom and to the military wives that keep them coming home.

Source: Military Wives In Love

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They say that money can’t buy happiness, but I’m pretty sure they’re wrong. It’s not that I’m a materialist or a power junkie, but let’s be honest… There are only two things that get in the way of doing all the things I would like to do: time and money. And as we know from the bankers who never get tired of repeating the phrase, time is money.

It’s not that I equate money with happiness, it’s just that I’m pretty sure money buys all those that things that would make you happy. Security, flexibility, time and the resources to do the things that you find fulfilling. What else is there? I think it was Steve Martin that said, “I believe that sex is the most beautiful, natural, and wholesome thing money can buy.” Ok, now we’re going too far. Seriously though, if you can’t find a way to be happy with the world at your finger tips, it isn’t the world’s fault, it’s yours.

In all fairness I have to admit that it’s true that money can’t fix everything. This story is a little old, but I just heard it the other day. Apparently back in 2001 Billy Bob Thornton was quoted in the New York Post as saying, “I had a nurse come…and draw some of my blood. I painted some pictures for Angie [Jolie] in my blood. We’re not the types to give each other candy or a bunch of flowers.” I suppose to some people, nothin’ says lovin’ like a satanic contract or the missing love-scene from the Exorcist. To me it just says that all the money and fame in the world can’t make you any less insane.

Some people are a little nervous about online dating personals, but they’ve got to allow for better screening than the entertainment industry. Seriously, you’ve got to think twice before dating a celebrity. Although, for most of us, there isn’t a huge danger of that happening anyway, thankfully dating the stranger sitting next to you on the bus will be a better option.

Source: For Love, Money Or Blood

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Dear Readers,

Think back. When was the last time someone just complimented you and made you feel good about yourself? Was it when you were little and kept the crayons on the line? Maybe when you are 14 and had a good report card?

Unfortunately, when you become an adult, folks tend to stop just telling you how much they appreciate you. Especially your partner

Until now…

Rori Gwynne wrote a book that I think will help you turn around your relationship. It is “Have the Relationship You Want.“

Read my review here:

http://www.moderndatingsite.com/get-the-relationship-you-want.html

Sincerely,

John Garret

Source: Get the Relationship You Want

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There are countless ways to meet people, whether through friends, following a particular music scene in your hometown, joining clubs or looking through dating personals. But, in spite of all the different ways we coming in contact with new people, it still seems hard find that one person who’s right for you. The search for good relationships, or ideally that one good one, can be a long, painstaking process.

In our culture, most of us attach a lot of importance to our romantic relationships, so maybe it makes sense that the search is so long. Sometimes, though, I worry that our expectations are linked a little too much to what we see in romance movies. I don’t mean that we should lower our expectations and I don’t even mean that our ideals are unreasonable. It’s just that we can’t forget that those idealized conceptions of romance are esthetic imaginings. They compress all the important events and signs together in one production. It isn’t that reality is less grand or beautiful, but only that it is more spread out, more mixed up with other things.

Generally speaking, I think I’m a pretty observant and attentive guy, but it’s amazing what the human mind is capable of missing. Someone painted a huge, ugly piece of graffiti on the wall next to the entrance to my building. Almost a week afterward I was having dinner with some of my neighbors and one of them started complaining about the graffiti, to which I responded, “what graffiti?” Everyone laughed at me. I managed to miss something glaringly obvious even though I pass by more than once every day. This is a rather unfortunate choice of metaphor wherein I’ve compared romance to graffiti… but I hope it make my point clear. What I mean is that we get into routines and we only see what we consciously pay attention to, and a lot of other things get lost.

I think that sometimes we get caught up in the idea of a certain romance that we’re after, or a certain idea of romance, and we miss all the good relationships that we could be building with the people that are already in our lives. I don’t think there is a problem with the importance we place on romance in our live, or that we take the search for good relationships too seriously. I do, however, think that the search would be a little bit easier if we didn’t expect what we’re looking for to be so obvious. Subtle things are beautiful when you pay close attention.

Source: The Perpetual Search For Good Relationships

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Some of my readers may be wondering what I’m like. Well, take a look at this video.

It isn’t long but wait for the last duckling. That would be me. Confused and the last one standing…

Source: Finally, the Perfect Video that Shows Me…

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A friend of mine has a thing for beautiful Italian ladies. Actually, he’s got a thing for pretty much everything Italian. The food, the wine, the culture. He’s even learning Italian. However, he isn’t Italian so he is have trouble meeting girls with that heritage. I suggested he try an Italian Dating site to see who he can meet.

I know that, generally speaking, the women on Italian dating sites are looking to meet other Italians, but given my friend’s affinity for everything about the culture I’m hoping some of the beautiful Italian ladies will make an exception in his case.

I suppose it might seem strange that someone develop such an obsession with a culture that that they don’t initially come from. To be honest, it seem strange to me, but it seems pretty sincere and he explains it pretty well.

He told me that, for most of his life, he always felt a little bit like an outsider. He said that the first time he didn’t feel like that way was when he spent a summer living in Italy. He studied art history and went on what was supposed to be a two-week trip to Rome to do research, but he was gone for months and only came back once his visa expired and he had no choice.

Part of me thinks that traveling, wherever you go, always makes you feel like a changed person, but my friend insists that it’s something specific about Italian culture. He likes the way people interact and live and that it all made him feel very comfortable.

Anyway, whatever the cause of his fantasy, he’s putting a lot of work into it. He’s reading in Italian now and is starting to be able to speak it, so the language barriers should disappear pretty quickly once he meets an Italian angel who can help him practice. He’s a good guy, and I’m sure that he’ll be able to meet someone nice on of the dating sites he is going to try out.

Source: Beautiful Italian Ladies

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Online dating personals are a really good way to put you in contact with all kinds of fun, interesting and attractive people. There are a lot of things to look out for when meeting new people, but potential communication problems in relationships are really one of the most important things to avoid.

We tend to think that love should be enough; that if you care for someone enough and admire them enough, then any other problems can be overcome. That might be an inherently naïve misconception, but it is definitely true that without proper communication in relationships there is very little else that matters.

Communication in relationships has got to be one of the most important things to maintain. We all know that trust in relationships is of paramount importance, but even that begins with having a good understanding of each other. Two people can’t develop a good level of trust if they are constantly worried about misunderstandings and unclear expectations.

The fact is, communication problems in relationships lead directly to doubting whether or not the person you’re with has any idea who you are. It’s really important that, when you’re looking to start a relationship, you find someone with whom you communicate well. That can be harder than it sounds.

We’ve all heard the jokes about how men and women communicate differently and I suppose there is some truth hidden behind all the cliches. However, I think there can be more differences between any two people, man or woman, than there generally are between the genders.

Some people simply communicate differently. Some people focus on denotative meaning, that is to say that many people rely on the literal meaning of words and don’t think anything else should be read into them and, consequently, don’t read anything into them when other people use them. Some people rely heavily in implications and connotations, and when someone else isn’t used to thinking over everything they say, there can be problems.

Those are two overly extreme examples, but the important thing to realize is that is neither right or wrong. On the one hand, we can’t be expected to read minds and decipher a web of subjective connotations. On the other hand, it can sometimes be unreasonable to expect that everything be stated explicitly. There are some things that, when you’ve known a person for a while, should be able to go unsaid. Part of communication is learning and anticipating. When this doesn’t happen, one might well wonder if the other person is paying attention.

All this to say, if you pay a little attention to how people are accustomed to communicating, then a lot of misunderstanding and unwanted surprises can be avoided.

Source: Avoiding Communication Problems In Relationships

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Are You Looking for Love in the Wrong Places?

These are the ten places of 100,000 or more population with the highest Men-Women ratio in 2000. Source is the U.S. Census Bureau in 2000.

So ladies, if you are single and are looking to improve your chances… these are the cities with way more guys than women!

Salinas, CA
Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Santa Ana, CA
Tempe, AZ
Wichita Falls, TX
Sunnyvale, CA
Austin, TX
Costa Mesa, CA
Oxnard, CA

Ten places of 100,000 or more population with the lowest Men to Women ratio in 2000. same source.

Now guys, these are the cities to go to improve your luck with the ladies. Just be nice.

Gary, IN
Birmingham, AL
Philadelphia, PA
Jackson, MS
Richmond, VA
Pembroke Pines, FL
Shreveport, LA
Baltimore, MD
Mobile, AL
New Orleans, LA

Are you starting to notice a trend? The male to female ratio is higher on the western part of the United States and higher in the eastern part of the United States.

Take a look at this image from the same source:

The legend is probably too small to read. Just use this key:

Red = Lots of Women
Blue = Lots of Men

We need more guys to move back East and more women to move West. Can we make this mass migration happen?

If you have ideas, tell me! But keep it clean PG rated thanks…

Source: Why Can’t I Find a Man or Woman?

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If I’ve learned anything in my life, it’s that the old adage ‘you can’t judge a book by its cover’ is absolutely true. I’ve dated lots of different women, each more different than the next. I’m fond of the saying that there are women who aren’t pretty, they just look that way. There are many women who fit the stereotype of what a certain part of society wants us to believe is beautiful, but they are severely lacking in the inner beauty that’s so necessary to be really and truly beautiful. For me, BBW girls have all the curves in all the right places and the ones that I’ve found to date through websites like BBW Personals Plus have been among the best dating experiences I’ve ever had.

Karen was a girl that I dated for about six months. She had a larger than life personality and a lust for life that was unequaled by anyone I’d ever met before. I met her through one of the hot personals sites that I’d been checking out. We hit it off immediately in our email conversations and within a week we were going out on our first date. We had a great time and I was compelled to learn more about this vivacious woman whose enthusiasm was so very infectious. We laughed a lot when we were together. Our dates were pure heaven, a kind of shelter from the storm of my daily grind. I rarely saw Karen without a smile on her face. She believed in the power of positive thinking and exuded a rare sexiness that few women ever achieve.

The only problem in our relationship was that Karen was still getting over the loss of her husband. She’d told me right away that she’d been divorced, but I didn’t really know the extent to which that had affected her. She still held a great deal of self-esteem and very positive attributes, but she still harbored some fear that she would be hurt again. From what I heard about him, it seemed to me that he wasn’t exactly a prize catch, but it doesn’t matter who you are, losing a loser is still a loss. I had many wonderful evenings, and several fantastic weekends with this amazing BBW girl. Her unequaled beauty and infectious laughter gave me a lot of joy and I’m very glad for the experience of having known her. I haven’t seen her in a few years and I really hope that for her sake that she was able to move forward and enjoy every aspect of her life the way I enjoyed mine when I was with her.

Source: Beautiful Evenings With BBW Girls

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I don’t know if I have an unreasonably low tolerance for cheating in relationships or not, but I tend to think that if your partner is cheating then the relationship has reached the breaking point and it is high time to end things and start putting yourself out there on the dating personals without looking back.

I know people can make mistakes and that it is important to forgive. If I’m going to be honest, I’ll even have admit that the times I’ve caught girlfriends cheating in relationships I didn’t break things off right away. The times it has happened to me, I was with people that I, for my part, really loved. It’s pretty well impossible to just cut yourself off from someone who you care about deeply, so I tried to fix things and forgive.

None of those relationships I tried to salvage survived, although they fell apart for different reasons and, in some cases, I suppose it was my fault. I find it hard to trust someone that has burned me once, and once the trust is gone it’s all down hill from there. You can say you forgive someone, but it your are constantly suspicious of them and scrutinize everything they do for signs of betrayal then saying the words doesn’t add up to much. I think being suspicious of someone that hurt you is natural, but if, after a while, you can’t find a way to give them the benefit of the doubt again, then the relationship really can’t last.

On the other hand, while it is possible that I could have made more of an effort to move past the issue, in my experience cheating in relationships speaks pretty badly about the character of the cheater. Maybe I only say this because it’s happened to me, but you can’t accidentally sleep with someone else. It takes a bit of intent and, unless you’re a rock star, it usually takes a little persuasion too. I just don’t understand how someone can be so selfish as to hurt the people they care about by willfully betraying them. It demonstrates a lack of compassion that I find almost more disturbing than the fact of the betrayal.

I don’t regret trying to salvage damaged relationships. You can’t give up on the people you care about easily. On the other hand, I think I would have been better off if I’d just cut my losses and got back out into the dating scene.

Source: What To Do About Cheating In Relationships?

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