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Was He Going To Cheat On Me Dating Question

We’re on a roll about cheating this week, so I decided to go with it and post a question that showed up in my mailbox a day or two ago; one that I hear a lot of variations of in the dating forums.

Lynn asks: I have been dating this guy for about a year and a half. We have a really good relationship together. We have plans to move in together. But before we do that, I wanted to make sure he wouldn’t cheat on me. So I created a fake Facebook profile and added him. We chatted for a bit then asked to meet. I spoke with him the same night he was about to meet the fake person I created. He told me that he was going to take a nap about a minute before he had the date with the fake girl. I went to the place he was going to meet her and waited for him. He showed up. I asked him what he was doing there and he said, “Oh well I knew it was you all along.” I know he’s lying to me. He’s a great guy and everything I ever wanted in a guy. Should I forgive him? Can we look past this?

Bonny’s answer: There are so many things to address in this question, I’m not sure where to start – so let’s begin with the obvious: if you cannot trust a man, then why on earth would you want to move in with him? And if you have to ‘test’ to see if he’ll be faithful, how ‘great’ can the relationship really be?

I’ve noticed a common fear among many young women these days: the fear that their partner will lie to them, betray them, and/or cheat on them. And guess what? It happens. A lot. But there are also a lot of men who have no issue with commitment, no issue with giving their word (and keeping it), and who won’t give you any reason to question their loyalty to you. If those are the kinds of things that are important to you in a relationship, why wouldn’t you seek out a man who can provide them, without having to test him using carefully created traps?

I realize that none of what I’m saying here answers your question, but what you’re asking isn’t something I can answer for you. Why? Because (a) he’s obviously not everything you want in a man (if you truly believe he was lying to you), and (b) the question isn’t whether or not you can forgive him, but rather if he should forgive you. Because who wants to go through a relationship wondering whether or not they are being questioned constantly, or told they are a liar? Either you trust this man or you don’t, and if you don’t, its time to let you both move on.

But what do you think readers? Should Lynn forgive her partner? Do you think what she did was called for, or ‘right’?

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