Find Love Blog

I think it’s important, once in a while, to think about who your love icons are. Especially in the world of online matchmaking, where we are faced with so many possibilities, it can be disturbingly easy to lose site of what you want in life. I know that we should all be open to the unexpected, especially in our romantic lives, but you still have to have some idea about what you want and where you’re going.

The issue of who your love icons are might be something to think about when writing an online personals profile or even responding to one. Even when we sit down and describe exactly what we want in a relationship, there is still always room for ambiguity. It’s not like love icons can all mean the same thing to all of us, but examples do tend to help clarify things.

I think the love icons a lot of people would hold up are pretty weird. The characters in a harlequin romance type novel tend to make me vomit a little bit. They are so far outside of the realm of reality that I don’t know how to deal with them. Worse, the fantasies they promote seem kind of disturbing to me. They make a big show of having strong, independent characters, but invariably someone is in need of rescuing.

Ironically, I find the more troubled images of love come closer to what I would call healthy love icons. Take, for example, a movie called Before Sunset. The characters are rather bitter. I’m not really sure I even like them. I do, however, like the way they interact. I think style has a lot more to do with these things than anything else, I like the way the conversations in the film are serious and lighthearted in the same breath. It’s a vague thing that I can’t describe well, which is why I’m so happy for the example.

I don’t know if there are many Jeanette Winterson fans out there, so maybe her books can’t qualify as icons, but she wrote one novel called Written On The Body. If I remember right, the first line is “it’s the cliches that cause all the problems.” The book then sets about undermining every cliche about love that you can think of while being, at the same time, a very sincere love story. The point being, I think, that once you’ve understood what your ideals are, and how you relate to them, things become a lot clearer.

I believe that thinking about what our ideals are and being able to articulate those ideas, might help us all understand what we want from each other.

Source: Who Are Your Love Icons?

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Sometimes a guy just wants to go out with someone to have la ittle no-strings-attached fun. Sex dating sites are just the place for you to meet that sexy sweety that you’re after. It’s not always as easy as the media would have us believe it is to meet a sex partner. Random girls at the grocery store don’t generally appreciate sexual advances (found that out the hard way) and drunk girls in bars are, well, drunk girls.

Finding a sexy cutie to spend an evening of frivolous frolicking can be as easy as the click of a mouse. Well, maybe just a little more complicated than that. All that is involved though, is putting together a profile that is honest and open about what it is that you’re looking for. It’s a much better forum to try to meet partners than approaching complete strangers at, for example, the bus stop.

I see it on the movies all the time, guys going up to girls on the street and suddenly they’re in bed together. While I would really want for these kind of things to be true, it never, ever has happened to me. That’s not to say that I’ve never met a girl in a bar and gone home with her. It’s just that, well, we all know how those situations end up. It’s much better to make a sober, informed choice than to have to wake up quickly and dress quietly, hoping not to wake up last night’s fling.

In case you’ve been thinking about starting up a fling with that sexy sweety that’s constantly flirting with you at the office, let me offer this piece of advice: Don’t Do It! Nothing is worse than the morning after when you’re so uncomfortable that you just want to crawl under your desk. Believe me, I’ve been there.

Romance, love and sex are not all the same thing. They can all fall into the same category and it’s nice when those things occur in tandem, but sometimes you just need to scratch that proverbial itch. You know what I mean, right? You’re bound to find at least one sexy sweety that you’ll be compatible with on any one of the many sex dating sites that are available. You’ll be able to find a gal with similar interests and desires, so that first time together will be even less uncomfortable than it usually is. Knowing what someone likes from the get-go makes it easy to just cut to the chase.

All this is to say that, while it’s not as easy as movies lead us to believe to find some random girl in some random location to have sex with, sex dating sites could be your key to sexual liberation. After all, we’re all guaranteed life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, aren’t we?

Source: Finding A Sexy Sweety

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I never would have suspected, but apparently just being a sexy Latin woman can be hazardous to the health. I always figured being beautiful made life easier. It certainly makes you what everyone searching the dating personals dreams of, but apparently being the object of everyone’s desire also makes you the target of jealous reprisals.

I have to confess, I’ve never been able to take beauty pageants seriously. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a sucker for a pretty face and I appreciate the body of a beautiful woman as much as the next guy. The thing is, I just can’t imagine anyone with real substance taking part in such an event.

I mean, I never actually sat down and watched a beauty pageant so maybe I’m missing something, but when I think of a competition my head is instantly filled with phrases like “I want world peace.” Now, that is, of course, a noble goal, but it isn’t really a practical goal one can work towards. It’s better than not wanting world peace, but I still appreciate people that have more concrete objectives in life. I guess there are all kinds of people in the world though, so someone is bound to disagree with me and think a beauty queen would make a fit bride.

Anyway, I’m digressing. Back to the danger! I just saw an article on the BBC News about Ingrid Marie Rivera who competed and one a beauty pageant in Puerto Rico even after her efforts were sabotaged. Apparently someone covered all of her clothes in pepper spray and even mixed it into her makeup. This happened to her not once, but twice

Now, in spite of all my preconceptions of beauty pageant winners and my suspicions about the substance of people that take part in them, I’ve got to say that this sexy Latin woman is one tough cookie. I had a friend who, as part of his police training, was pepper sprayed to give him an idea of what to expect if it ever happened to him. It was bad. He’s a tough guy and I’ve never seen him in such rough shape. He at least got a couple of days off afterward. Anyone that can stand up and keep the show going when something like that has just happened to them is a real trooper.

Source: The Dangers Of Being A Sexy Latin Woman

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I’m not the kind of person that has ‘celebrity crushes.’ I don’t watch movies or television and dream of being with some sexy starlet. I don’t fantasize about being some movie star’s date to the Oscars or anything like that. There is one gal, however, for whom I do have a particular fondness. For some reason Sofia Coppola is a gal that I find myself giving more attention to than I might normally be inclined to at the best of times. I’m not sure that Italian Dating is the way I should necessarily be going, but it does seem as though more and more beautiful, Italian women are catching my eye these days.

I don’t think I’d be the kind of person that could be that guy that just tags along to his partner’s movie sets. I might not mind catching the sun in Cannes or something, but I’m pretty sure that just being ‘the boyfriend’ or ‘the husband’ would not be quite fulfilling enough for me.

I’m not sure I’d be all that attracted to constantly being in the public eye either, no matter how many beautiful, Italian women wanted me on their arms. Living a life in the spotlight if you’re famous must be hard enough, but if you’re the partner of someone famous and it’s a constant battle to find privacy, I think it would put a strain on a relationship. Then again, if it were someone like Sophia, I might be inclined to think about that a little more kindly. One never knows where one’s life is going to lead, but I think I can be reasonably certain that it’s not going to lead me to shacking up with a famous and beautiful film director.

I’ve never dated an Italian woman, but I’m sure that the stereotypes that have been created in movies and television are not going to ring true for all beautiful, Italian women. I mean, they can’t all be control freaks, can they? Sometimes you take the good with the bad, though, and I’m always willing to overlook someone’s faults to try to find their good side. Everyone has some good in them, I’ve found. I’m willing to bet that a beauty like Sofia Coppola has several things going for her. Again, I’m sure I would be willing to find out.

In the meantime, I just find it kind of fun to allow my mind to wander to places it doesn’t generally go. If all the time I ever spend with Sofia is in my head, well, it’ll just have to do.

Source: More Beautiful Italian Women

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Russian Travelers Arrested in Sex Acts on Commercial Flight

Two amorous passengers on a British airplane decided to skip the hotel and get straight to the action… ON THE PLANE!

Unfortunately, everyone else on the plane had to watch… all 350 of ‘em!

And wouldn’t you know it. They were arrested and now face charges in court.

Their excuse? They were drunk.

I can’t make up something like this… Don’t believe me? Click on the link to the story above.

Guys and gals… here is a tip… take it to the hotel room please

Dating tips to find a lover

Source: Mile High Club?

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According to a recent article in the Economist, a company in Europe has taken online dating personals to the next level in a bid to allow technology to combat one of the most prominent ailments of the modern world: social alienation.

It’s ironic that the freedom technology has given us seems to go hand-in-hand with a set of blinders that make living like the social beings we are progressively more difficult. We live in a time when we can travel far past the speed of sound and are considering the step of sending a manned mission to Mars, but in which we’ve lost touch with out neighbors.

The pace of our daily lives is much faster, our jobs are becoming more and more specialized and our educations are becoming increasingly single-minded and focused. The consequence is that while we can hop a plane to anywhere in the word, our social spheres are becoming smaller and smaller.

It isn’t really that we aren’t faced with people. Most of us live in cities and are surrounded by millions of strangers. The catch is that there are so many unknowns that people become cautious, guarded and cold during most interactions. Any psychologist will tell you that feelings of social alienation are an increasingly common source of anxiety and the root of a prevalent lack of well-being.

There are already many ways technology is helping to overcome these problems. There is a wealth of free online dating resources as well as paid dating services. There is even the concept of the virtual date taking hold in some subcultures. The problem is that many people feel that these kinds of solutions, for all their potential, remove some of the magic from our conception of romance.

This new idea hitting Europe seems to focus on using technology to return some of the unexpected magic to the increasingly isolating, frantic and urbanized world in which we live. The idea is to merge social networking profiles with software that utilizes Bluetooth technology on cell-phones. Subscribers who walk into a room might receive a message telling them that another user with similar interests is in the vicinity.

The beauty of the idea is that it not only makes the social networking technology mobile, it has the potential of putting you in contact with people from areas in which you work and live. More importantly, it can act as an icebreaker between people who, in a less guarded and fast-paced world, might naturally strike up a conversation. I love the idea that someone is using technology to put some of the unexpected magic of serendipitous romantic meeting back into the world.

Source: Technological Solutions For Social Alienation

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Some people have a real problem with public displays of affection. For others, people kissing in public is the most natural thing in the world. It’s always a subject that seems to bring up a lot of debate. I know that, for some people, it is simply a matter of having to watch other people kissing when they’re single that bothers them, in which case it is nothing that some time on the dating personals can’t fix.

For a lot of people though, even people in long term relationships, public displays of affection always bother them. I have one friend that insists that what when someone is kissing you, it has to be in private or it is simply not enjoyable. She argues that when it’s in public it becomes a matter of possessiveness. The desire is to make sure everyone knows you’re taken and who you’re with, rather than a genuine display of affection.

Now, on the other hand, I have another friend who can’t conceive of a love that lasts without public displays of affection. She once broke up with a guy because he refused to kiss her in public. For her, it wasn’t so much a matter of possessiveness as it was an indication of sincerity. She felt that his refusal must mean he was embarrassed to be seen with her. Truthfully, I still think she was overreacting a bit, but on the other hand I never quite trusted the guy, so maybe she was right.

Personally, I think there has to be a happy medium. I think, for the most part, being totally averse to kissing people anywhere other than behind a closed door is a little prudish. On the other hand, even though this kind of thing really doesn’t bother me and, for the most part, I’m not so bitter as to begrudge others their happiness, there is such a thing as going to far. It is one thing to be sitting on a bus with two people who are being affectionate, it is totally another thing to be stuck sitting near a couple who should really should have found themselves a hotel room. I think that even when two people only have eyes for each other, there still needs to be some kind of awareness and consideration for the outside world, otherwise something is wrong.

Source: People Kissing

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You never know when you’re going to be completely blown away on a date. The first time it happened to me, I was a bit younger than I am now and, to my credit, a little more open-minded about dating. I guess it might even be better to say that I wasn’t as set in my ways. For a short time, I dated a pretty deaf girl who was absolutely marvelous. I didn’t meet her on a deaf dating site, in fact, I’m not even sure they existed back then. We went to the same school and when we met, we hit it off right away.

Our first date was the test date. We wanted to see if we were right for each other. It was just like any other first date, I suppose. I didn’t know a whole lot about relationships back then, but I had an idea of what I might want. I knew that I wanted to be able to communicate with a partner and so I was wary of how that might go with this pretty deaf girl.

On one of our dates, she told me she had a surprise for me. I had asked her about how she enjoyed music, so she decided to show me. We went to her apartment, where she showed me her extensive record collection (yes, it was that long ago). What she would do was place her hands on one speaker, her cheek on another and feel the vibrations.

“Each of the instruments recorded by this disc (and I have touched and understood each of them) creates the sound that you hear through resonance. Each instrument is made of a different material and they all reverberate in their individual ways”, she told me. “Sound is merely a vibration that your ears translate into specific notes that you understand in a certain way that may or may not be real. But touch is real.”

It was then that she instructed me to lay my hands on the speakers in the way that she had done. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to feel the music in a way that I’d never done before and began to understand more completely what music was all about.

We both had a laugh at how I had been shown how to really appreciate music by a pretty deaf girl. She was charming and sweet, but in the end, we both went our separate ways. I don’t know if she ever thinks of me, but for my part, I’ll never forget her.

Source: A Pretty Deaf Girl Explains Music

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Ever dreamed of having a hot, steamy affair? Maybe you met someone who turned out to be someone else’s beautiful wife, but you knew there was enough of a connection there to make something happen. Maybe you’re married, but you’re just not getting what you need in your relationship. If so, there are sites like Ashley Madison that specialize in bringing married people together in a safe and discreet way.

There are people who meet each other and whether it’s chemistry or just an attraction that’s too deep to deny, they end up hooking up with each other. Sometimes it just happens. These situations cause for ultimate discretion. Play it safe and don’t tempt fate by inviting the person you’re having an affair with to meet your family. Meeting the family is definitely not the right move in this situation, even if you feel like that might be kind of a thrill. It’s one thing to have a secret, but you never want to get anyone more than just your lover involved when you’re having an affair.

It’s important that if you do choose to meet someone through one of these sites that you make sure that before you get together all the ground rules are laid out. That way it’s not uncomfortable when you meet and everything has already been settled on. Also, it will keep the morning after from being too uncomfortable. Whether you spend it with that person or not, you still have to get up in the morning and face another day.

No matter how you choose to go about it, if you’re going to have an affair, make sure to always be careful and to ensure that nobody gets hurt. It can be a great experience, but going about it the wrong way can bring a quick and decisive end to the fun.

Source: That Beautiful Wife

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Sometimes it just isn’t easy to find a date, but it isn’t for lack of options. You can meet people almost anywhere and, even if your shy, dating personals and matchmaking services are a great way to stick your neck out and get into the dating scene. That said, knowing where to find a date and knowing how to find a date are not at all the same kettle of fish.

There a lot of places to getter better advice on how to pick up a girl than I can give you. I do OK for myself, but I’ve never been great at chatting up strangers. I think that’s one of the reasons I’ve always been more comfortable with online dating. It’s easier to take that first step when you know the people you are interacting with are interested in dating and, even better, you have some idea what they’re looking for even before you start talking.

Dating profiles are really a good tool for meeting the right people. ‘How Important is a Profile?’ you ask? I would say that a profile is very important, whether you reading them or posting them. In the online world, apart from photos, what is written in a profile is what will make peoples’ first impressions.

It is a bit of an awkward process at first. You feel like you’re trying to sell yourself and anyone with an ounce of humility is bound to feel strange. That’s something to think about when you’re reading them though. There are millions of jokes about how to read into what people write in dating profiles, but I think you have to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume they are at least trying to be honest. Otherwise, you’re closing a lot of doors due more to your own paranoia than anything else.

I think you can learn a lot about how people think from what they write though. A person’s personal details will be either overly negative or overly positive depending on whether they lack confidence, are sincerely humble or are overly arrogant. I suppose you gauge people’s personalities if you think about this, but that’s really not what I had in mind.

I think that, maybe, the best way to get an idea of who your dealing with is to pay close attention to what people are looking for in others. It’s not so important, necessarily, that you meet all the criteria. What is important about this part of a profile is that you’ll begin to see what it is they value in other people and this will give you some idea of what they really care about and how they try to live. That, I think, is the first step when you’re trying to find a date: look for someone who shares your values.

Source: How To Find A Date

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