Find Love Blog

Mars And Venus

I know that relationships between men and women are complicated, I understand that fact. I don’t really want to talk about all the problems I’ve encountered, but let’s just say that there have been times that I wished I could just sign over my free will to a matchmaking service and let someone else try and figure me out.

I won’t get into specifics, but these days in particular I’ve been hunting for a little bit of extra help. I’ve even looked into some dating advice books. I’m still having a little trouble finding anything useful, though, except what seems what seems like the best advice never to take.

I was really surprised to discover that, when you run a search for dating advice on the net, you still find a lot of references to the old cliché, “men are from Mars, women are from Venus.” Like I said, I get the men and women a very different. Sometimes I do think we’re from different planets. Still, I’m not sure I like the analogy.

Forgive me, but I’m going to be nerdy for a second. Mars and Venus aren’t just two random planets. They are also the names of a roman god and goddess. Mars was the god of battle and Venus was the goddess of feminine beauty, particularly beauty embodied in a vein and selfish figure.

Now, am I really the only person who finds the analogy a little offensive? I mean, yes, women are beautiful, but I hope they are not generally vain and selfish. Similarly, I can accept that men, in general, are a little more combative, but I’m not particularly war-like. It seems to me that the analogy only applies to the most negatively stereotypical types of people.

Now, we have to speak in generalities sometimes, but I’ve know a lot of vain men and plenty of very aggressive women. I’m not at all sure that either gender has a monopoly on either one of these stereotypes. I think, maybe, a really good start to learning to get along with each other might be stop thinking of the individuals we are dating as representatives of stereotypes.

If I can be permitted one more moment of neediness, I’d like to leave off by saying one more thing about mythology. Mars and Venus are also chosen for the analogy because they are, in roman myth, the parents of the god of love, Cupid, also known (in Greek) as Eros. Now, I like the image of beauty and aggression combining to create passion. It’s a beautiful metaphor. That said, I’m not sure that I want vanity and aggression to be the starting points of my love life.

So here is my question, why can’t we just be nice to each other, and treat each other like the individuals we are? Is that really such a bad idea?

Source: Mars And Venus

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