Find Love Blog

When you discover betrayal in relationships it is surely a sign that they are over and that it’s time to break up with someone. It’s a hard thing to do and I know people tend to advocate forgiveness, but if you can’t count on someone, it’s either a sign that they don’t know you well enough to know what you expect from them or they don’t care enough to respect you. In either case, it’s a pretty serious sign of incompatibility and you should probably think about finding someone with whom you are compatible. Matchmaking sites are a really good way to look for that special someone who can really compliment your personality and with whom you can hook up with for the long haul.

I know that it’s a big jump to go from betrayal in relationships to suggesting places to find a new match. I’m not suggesting you do both on the same day. Looking for love on the rebound can be a really risky idea and, of course, it can take some time to get over a relationship.

The reason I jumped to the subject of matchmaking is that I find people tend to make the same mistakes over and over again. Either we don’t learn or we forget, but in either case we end up dating the same kinds of people and make ourselves unhappy all over again. I think it’s important to think proactively about ways to break the cycle.

I want to be clear: I’m not suggesting that it’s your fault if you find yourself betrayed. Someone made a conscious choice and you’re not responsible for that. On the other hand, as mysterious as people’s motivations can be and as deceptive as they can be, people don’t tend to do things that are out of character. What one person perceives is inherently a betrayal will not stand for all people. If you find someone with a similar outlook and with a comparable moral compass you won’t be as likely to be surprised by how they behave or what they’re willing to compromise. Maybe I’m being overly analytical, but I think there is some truth to what I’m saying.

The thing that makes matchmaking sites standout from other dating personals is that they force you to think a little more critically about who you are and what it is you really want in a partner. The things that you find initially attractive in someone aren’t necessarily the qualities that will make you compatible in the long run, so it might be a good idea to start the process within a framework that is geared to a more long-term approach.

Source: Dealing With Betrayal In Relationships

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I know that personality is supposed count for a lot and that it’s generally considered shallow to be overly obsessed about the way people look. Be that as it may, it’s hard to deny that most guys are going to be more attracted to a sexy, fit girl. It’s not just a guy thing either, it’s pretty obvious that fit guy will get more attention than a guy who doesn’t take care of himself. So if, for whatever reason, you’re the kind of person that thinks people’s bodies are important then a fitness dating site might be the best place for you to look for a partner.

I think it’s about time we gave up the misconception that being concerned about the physical fitness level of your date means that you’re shallow. Being fit isn’t just about looks, it’s also about health and general wellbeing. It’s easy to say that looks don’t matter, but it’s harder to dismiss the fact that people don’t keep a measure of balance in their lives or that they’re unhealthy.

Fitness dating is also about finding someone with a compatible lifestyle. For some people, sports and athletics make up a big part of their lives, whether they’re concerned with their health, they find it meditative or just have a real passion for sports. When something makes up a big part of your life, it’s only natural that you’d want to be able to share that with whomever you decide to get close to. It’s entirely possible that a sexy, fit girl is the only kind of gal with whom you’ll really be able to share you life.

Another thing to consider when you’re getting involved with someone is whether the two of you together will lead a healthy relationship. I’m not talking about whether or not you’ll treat each other well, what I mean is that some relationships just don’t encourage a healthy lifestyles. Some people have no problem keeping in shape, for others, maintaining a balanced, healthy lifestyle takes a little bit of discipline. Spending your time with someone that doesn’t appreciate your passion for athleticism or understand your need for self-discipline might mean they would have a hard time understanding the choices you make.

Source: Looking For A Sexy, Fit Girl

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During the 30s, there were a lot of people that went to Spain to fight against the fascists. Ernest Hemingway spent some time in Spain, fighting and writing about the situation there and also about his experiences with his friends there and in other parts of Europe. I’m not sure if Hemingway had a Spanish mistress or not, but if he wasn’t able to get one, he might have had better luck if he’d tried a Latin dating site.

There’s a romantic side to war, but the reality of it is much less appealing. Nevertheless, there have been many novels that focus on romantic relationships that happen during times of strife. Quite often, when the outside world is falling apart, people will look to each other for the solace that is required to make one’s life worth living during trying periods. Some of these books are actually good places to look for some tips for romance, if you feel like you might need a little advice in that department.

Hopefully, though, your world is not falling down around you and you’re just looking for some kind of easy relationship that will satisfy whatever needs you might have. For myself, when times have been difficult, I have found that it’s nice to have someone to focus my attention on for brief periods to make whatever situation I’m in more bearable. Of course, both parties need to be fully aware of what the relationship means, so sex dating sites are quite often a great place to meet people who share similar interests.

I know that there are many people who find comfort in the embrace of another human being and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. The only thing that can be dangerous is the fact that expectations might not be met, so make sure that everyone knows exactly what’s going on. It’s not right to take advantage of someone’s situation just to make yourself feel better. We should all be mindful of other people because, let’s face it, all of us can be fragile from time to time.

I’m sure that Hemingway had his share of mistresses. Whether Spanish mistresses, or otherwise, he was most likely a force to be reckoned with in the romantic world. It might have been nice to have known him, to get some advice on dating. He probably would have even had some tips for how to go out on a free date in Cuba. Well, I guess I’ll just have to follow his lead and make my own way through the dating world.

Source: Hemingway’s Spanish Mistress

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Even though I’m open to the possibility of being with someone outside of my generation, my experience has taught me that such a situation brings with it issues you should keep in mind. The most apparent is insecurity. It’s not uncommon for shy older women or men to be a bit nervous about your energetic spirit. They can easily forget what they have to offer when faced with the outer beauty they themselves fear losing, or have lost already. I’m not just talking about senior dating either.

The fact that you’re considering making a certain shy older person your significant other should already dissipate their feelings of apprehension. You’ve no doubt already accepted their appearance, so their worries about their body shape and weight are unwarranted to a certain degree. However, the reality is that human beings are sensitive creatures.

To a certain extent, it is each individual’s responsibility to manage his or her own confidence. However, the physical differences between two people who are years apart is a constant reminder of the temporal gap between them. When it comes to relationships, gaps are never a good thing.

Some other blog entries that may be of interest to you:
In Praise of The Older Woman

This is why I recommend maintaining a certain degree of sensitivity around the whole age issue if you truly want to give an inter-generational relationship a go with a shy older partner. The reason it’s never polite to ask a woman her age is because it’s ingrained in the female psyche that beauty is gold. However, it’s important to understand that women aren’t the only ones who feel the social stigma of aging. Men who find themselves single at an age when they thought they would be settled down can also feel a insecure when faced with a nice lady with her life ahead of her.

In any relationship, compliments always go a long way to battle insecurities that can undermine what people feel towards each other. If you’re ready to sacrifice finding someone your own age for other qualities, it doesn’t hurt to remind that older partner what those qualities are.

Source: Building A Shy Older Partner’s Confidence

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You know, most of the time, when we hear the phrase ‘economical dates,’ we think either of the girl who has two drinks and gets drunk or the guy who takes you to McDonald’s. But the truth is that economical date ideas can be the most fun, as long as you’re dating someone else who likes to have as much fun as you do. Whether you meet someone through friends, at a club, or through dating personals there’s lots of fun to be had.

For some, date ideas like going for a quiet walk on the beach, or to sitting on a park bench and talking, could be considered a dating faux pas, but some of the best times I’ve had on dates were when neither one of us spent a dime. It’s absolutely wonderful to be able to spend time with someone in a quiet place where you’re able to focus all your attention on each other and not be distracted by all that’s going on around you. What better way to really get to know someone than to go on a fun, cheap date?

The last time I did this, I went on a date with a woman who was just getting over being dumped. She’d spent years in a relationship with a guy who’d spent the better part of those years in front of the television, hardly ever paying attention to her, or acknowledging her presence…unless it was time to eat, of course. We went walking along a beach at sunset, then sat down on a log by the ocean, drank a bottle of wine, and just talked—for hours. I, for my part, was glad for the quiet solitude of the setting and the opportunity to spend time with this wonderful woman who had been ignored for entirely too long. Later we found out that we weren’t exactly right for each other, but both of us relished the memory of that beautiful night and our friendship has endured to this day. We gave each other the chance to really get to know one another that night and I’m not sure that would’ve been possible if not for our simple expectations and isolated setting.

Given the choice between taking a girl to a fancy restaurant, or going somewhere quiet for a nice, good-old-fashioned economical date, I’ll take the latter, every time.

Source: Economical Date Ideas

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One of the really difficult things about the world we live in is how isolated we are from our neighbors. If you live in a big city, there might be someone two doors down with whom you have virtually everything in common, but whom you’ve never seen. The neighborhood in which you live might have very little to do with the community of people in which you circulate. One of the really interesting capacities of the internet is to put you in touch with a community that you wouldn’t know how to access otherwise. A friend of mine told me that when he moved for work, he used Arab Dating sites not just to look for romance but to put himself in contact with a whole community of Arab-Americans in his new city.

It’s important to feel that you’re connected to a community that understands and shares your roots. When anyone moves to a new town they’re bound to feel a little disoriented, but I’m told by my friend that it can be particularly difficult for Arab-Americans and other minority groups in places where they don’t have large communities. The Internet is a really good way of finding people looking to make connections.

Now, of course, when anyone uses a dating site they’re generally looking to take a walk down lover’s lane, so to speak, but all kinds of unexpected things can happen. My friend met a lot of women online before he finally found the one he’s stayed with, but, while he didn’t find romance with these women, he did meet some people that became very good friends to him. He went from not having a very happy life to having a good community of friends in a pretty short time, all through the contact he made online.

There are a lot of happy endings for online matches, but there are probably more mismatches. Still, this shouldn’t discourage anyone. Maybe most of the people you meet won’t become the love of your life, but that’s true of most of the people you meet anywhere. The great thing about online dating is that you meet people who you wouldn’t ordinarily meet who can open up entire worlds for you that you didn’t know existed. They may not be exactly what you were looking for, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t good for you.

Source: Arab Americans And Online Communities

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If I think back to the times that I’ve had girls kissing me, I tend to really only remember three or four. It’s not that there have been so many, it’s more that I’ve only been kissed in such a manner as to have it be imprinted on my brain just a few times. Some may say that I’m lucky to have been kissed at all and I tend to agree. I must say that I’m always surprised by the girls who turn out to be the most passionate kissers. I wouldn’t have expected it with most of them. I even met one gal through a site where one can meet adult singles online that turned out to be one of the most spectacular kissers I’ve ever met.

If I think about the kissing that was done in my high school relationships, I have to admit that much of it was pure learning. For the most part, each of us were trying to figure out how this whole making-out thing worked and most of the girls kissing me were as nervous as I was. However, there was one girl that I’ll never forget. She was the one who set the bar, was the acid test for every single girl that came after her. She kissed me so lovingly and tenderly that my young libido was sent spinning into orbit, my heart along with it. The unfortunate part of being kissed so perfectly when you’re young is that it’s very hard to live up to those expectations that are created. Not to say that I’ve never come close.

What about you? Your first kiss - can you remember it? What about the first time you really felt that you were being kissed as though both of your lives depended on this connection? Do you remember how hard your heart beat, how close you felt to Nirvana?

Jeanette Winterson said in her book, The Passion, “To kiss well, one must kiss solely. No groping hands or stammering hearts. The lips and the lips alone are the pleasure.” If I think about the times when girls kissing me has been remarkable enough for me to paste it into my mental scrapbook of events which I shall never forget, then I must say that I agree with Ms. Winterson wholeheartedly.

Source: The Memories Of Girls Kissing Me That Really Stuck

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I think everyone needs a touch of pure romance in their lives from time to time. You know what I mean? I’m thinking of the kind of day you share with someone where nothing else matters or distracts you, all you care about is the woman sitting in front of you or walking next to you. It’s hard to find sometimes, which is why I’m glad there are dating personals to help out.

It’s hard to talk about this kind of thing without sounding cheesy. It’s hard to talk about romance without using clices and slipping into descriptions of moments that really only exist in fantasies. That said, cliches exist because so many people have had, or want to have, similar experiences.

Pretty well everyone can think of a time they spent with someone that was like a complete vacation from the rest of the world. You forget about your job, your responsibilities, you don’t answer your phone; you just enjoy life for a little while.

Obviously, things can’t be like that all the time, but there is nothing quite as refreshing as those little romantic vacations you can take without ever going anywhere. They’re addictive and hard to come back from, but once you manage to return you are usually in a better condition to deal with the world.

The hard part is finding someone you’re that comfortable with and with whom you can really lose track of time. It’s hard enough to find someone you like, let alone find someone who can actually take that time away with you.

I guess, unless you’re with someone new, those times of pure romance aren’t always to easy to come by. When you’re in a relationship I suppose moments of pure romance are shorter and more spread out. Still, I think it’s important to make sure you imbue a touch of romance in your day-to-day life. Everyone needs a little time alone with someone where you can just enjoy being together for the sake of it.

Source: A Taste Of Pure Romance

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Some people usually date specific types. I have one friend who, if you were to bet money that he was talking about a redhead when he mentions a new gal in his life, could make you rich very quickly. In fact, if you ever lost a dollar, I’d probably take my buddy to a doctor to make sure he wasn’t sick. Whatever your type, you can find someone that fits it online. If you want to meet a sexy black girl, just check out a black dating site and you’ll soon find someone who fits your image of the perfect woman.

Now, I said some people tend to date specific types. Obviously not everyone does this; I don’t think I do. Looking back on the girls I’ve been with, I can honestly say that they haven’t had much in common except that they’ve been interested in me. This, I think, is a nice quality that I always look for in a lady. Sadly, if that’s a type, it is a very, very rare type.

Honestly, I’ve never really understood people that are always looking for some one who fits the perfect profile that they’ve constructed in their mind. I’ve always been attracted to some unique thing that catches my eye and fascinates me, whether it be a peculiar interest in quantum mechanics or an endearing mannerism. The latter is more often the case. I don’t even know what ‘quantum mechanics’ means, except that you’d probably have to be a physicist to know. I have never dated a physicist.

Now, all that aside, I think I’m starting to understand. I still don’t really get people that will only date women who ride motorcycles, but I think I’ve developed something of an obsession these days.

I was sitting in a pub a couple of weeks ago when this gorgeous, sexy black girl walked in and asked to use the phone. When she was finished she left as quickly as she’d come. I don’t think I’ve ever been more physically attracted to anyone in my life. There was just something about the glint in her eye and the way she carried herself that caught me.

Now, I’m not lamenting the fact that I didn’t talk to her. There really wasn’t much opportunity and, who knows what she was actually like. Beauty is no measure of character. Still, I can’t get her out of my mind. Every time I see a black woman walk into a room I wonder, for a second, if it was the gal I saw a couple of weeks ago. It’s been strange because in two weeks I’ve barely noticed a single woman except for those that have had at least a passing resemblance to that first gal. It’s a strange thing, but it something I’m going to have to explore.

Source: Sexy Black Girl Stuck In Your Head?

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Was Saint Valentine a real human being?

Yep. Three of them!

According to the Catholic Encyclopedia, there were three saints whose feast was celebrated on Saint Valentine’s Day. They were named Valentinus and martyred sometime during the late third century.

However, it gets a little murkey here… Up until 1969, the Catholic Church formally recognized a total of eleven Valentine’s days.

However the legend of St. Valentine’s Day being associated with romantic love didn’t happen until the 14th century when the famous English author, Geoffrey Chaucer and his circle wrote about it.

How about that? Ladies have been getting flowers and chocolates for hundreds of years…

Oh wait, Chocolate wasn’t discovered by the Europeans until the 1519 and the Spanish Monks didn’t share the secret of chocolates for another 100 years…

I’m confused…

Don’t be alone for Valentine’s Day… Dating Tips to find a lover

Source: Saint Valentine’s Day is for the Lovers

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